I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize