i think my mom watched the whole time
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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