fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
