just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
