Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
