Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
