just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
