$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
