Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize