corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
