i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize