It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Randomize
