I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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