I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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