someone get that fucking seahorse.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
