they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
