hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
