Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
