He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
