I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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