And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
