my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
