Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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