This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
