For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I have post one night stand depression
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