First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
