I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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