so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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