Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
