Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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