What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
