My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
