The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
