I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
