I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
