So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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