can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Still dying that you shit outside
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
