You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
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I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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