Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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