I must be too annoying 4 u.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
