Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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