never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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