After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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