I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
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I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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