spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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