I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
