so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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