How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
