Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sorry my hands just texted you
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
