The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
