Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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