Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
