Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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