you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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