I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
