Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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