Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
