dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
