im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
