is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Small penises have feelings too.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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