Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
