STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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