Where are you?
In a non slutty way
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize