Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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