So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I want her autograph on my taint
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
