Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
