You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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