It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
