If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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