Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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