I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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