operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize